3 Year Oldism

Me-Let's go. Put your shoes on.
Seth-No Mommy, these plip plops! These not shoes.
Me-Are they sandals?
Seth- No, these not sandals these plip plops these not shoes these plip plops! Siwy Mommy!

5 Year Oldism

-Last one to the car is a lollipop!"

The Things Boys say...

"I am going to eat all this like a dog!" may sound like a good idea when you are 5. When you are a mom and trying to teach your all boy brood etiquette the response goes something like, "No, no you are not going to eat like a dog and if you do, you will not finish the meal and stand in the corner instead."

5-year-oldism

"Last one to the car is a cotton leg!"

Household Rules!

These are the rules that I assumed were understood in our house. In the last few months, I have found that this is not the case. Now I realize that I am by far out numbered with boys. I do. I really do! I expect to have to go to the ER on occasion and maybe even an overnight here and there for observation or even an ambulance ride but I am putting my foot down here and now and setting limits about how often because unfortunately while there are many males there is only one female to try and keep up with all of them. I tried to just verbally reiterate that which I perceived was know. This too has failed so now I am making a written version since my group of boys do not seem to understand I mean it! For my sanity's sake I am now writing them down so the Washburn boys/males (at least the ones in this household) can consult them before I lose my mind!

If at all possible, I prefer to limit the time spent in hospitals to a maximum of once a month if not less FAR LESS! That said:

1. No concurrent hospital stays this includes but is not limited to concurrent hospital stays at different hospitals. 

2. Concurrent ER visits will be permitted as long as both patients go in and are released at approximately the same time.

3. No back to back hospital stays. 

4. Once again this includes ER visits. 

5. If the monthly ER visit has been used, you are to refrain from any activity that will likely result in another ER visit if continued. This includes but is not limited to: dancing on the slide that is 8 ft above concrete, encouraging balls to be thrown at you while you ride a bike to see if they can cause you to crash, running around the edge of the jagged pool walls, trying to see how long you can stand on the raft that is by the jagged pool edge, etc....

6. The mom of this household reserves the right to add to this list or further clarify as she deems necessary especially as the the males try to see how far she can go without sleep!

BTW! Do you realize how much sleep you lose when you are at the ER or hospital? (ALL NIGHT LONG!!)  I do!! The mom/wife loses even more because she has to be coherent enough at all times to answer all random questions placed to her about the cause of said condition/accident and digest any randomly generated information the medical personal is willing to give or insinuate by action or inaction!

Turning 10

What happens when your baby(the oldest) turns 10. We are driving to the store and Brad started to bemoan our son's upcoming birthday.
Brad-"Erik is turning 10."
Me-"Yeah."
Brad-"Are you sure Erik is turning 10?"
Me-"Yeah."
Brad-"I remember him being born."
Me- "Yeah."
Brad-"Vividly! It seems like yesterday!"
Me-"Yeah."
Brad-"Are you positive Erik is turning 10?"
Me-"Yeah."
Brad-"Do you know what this means?"
Me-"What?"
Brad-"We are getting old!"

What's that Racket?

Let me set the stage for you: It is 8:30 in the morning. The boys have been told to shut off the TV and go upstairs  to clean their room. (It is amazing how if I am not up that must mean we can pile on the couch and watch TV instead of cleaning our room before we exit it!) Not just "clean" their room but "spic and span clean" your room! I hear singing and loud noises. Oh, here comes one boy complaining because his brother scratched him. I scold him and his brothers and tell them to "CLEAN YOUR ROOM!!" After things like this continuing on for 20 minutes or so I hear growling, roaring, yelling etc.. (They're boys these are really not uncommon noises just LOUD) and they come down playing on the stairs. I hurriedly get up to go reprimand them again thinking how my dad, and their dad is going to be upset about all the commotion. Who do I see? Their PAPA, aka My FATHER instigating the WHOLE thing!!! The rebuke flew right out the window and the laughter came bursting in!